RaiCries: Blackie

It has been a crazy sad week for me. I have so much stuff to do still since I am scheduled on an Iloilo and Boracay Trip next week. I should be jumping in excitement and thrill right? But no. 

I scheduled this week to be my preparation suppose to be for the fun-filled adventure next week but there were slight turn of events. Blackie, our loyal looong time dog companion had a serious urinary system problem, she was peeing blood...pure blood. Not urine with a little blood, it was PURE blood. Imagining it still gives me chills. I was afraid that she might be in pain. 

Just to give a little background, she has been with us for roughly 15-18 human years now. She’s really old. I never actually gave our “Bantay Dogs” enough attention. I know, I’m cruel. Too much time is wasted already. But I won’t let them die and suffer just like that. I love them and I care for them. Besides if we (family) don’t, then who else will?

Sinugod namin si Blackie sa Pet care clinic (10 min. drive) the day before yesterday, October 6, 2015. Napansin ko that morning, before going to work, na umiihi na siys ng dugo, I waited the whole day if magiimprove ang situation, but it didn’t, so the moment nakauwi ako ng office, I waited for my mom and did what we must.

The veterinarian ran tests and gave medications already. Her galbladder (not quite sure) was already filled with blood, they cleaned that part and gave meds to stop the bleeding. Nakausap ko na ang vet, luckily wala daw stones si Blackie and magana sya kumain. I really hope na maging ok ang lahat. Until now nakaconfine pa sya, wala pang result ang kidney and liver scan. I am open for anything, besides matanda na si Blackie, super bonus na ang edad nya. 

IT WAS CRAZY and super sad. I’m the kind of person who does not deal with passing or death or illness easily, I mean all of us don’t but for me it’s different. Painful images play in my mind over and over again. I’m the person who dwells on the negative side of death than the positive ones (like the “in death, there’s no more pain” stuff. NO!). I was the one who insisted to take her to the dog hospital but 80% of that moment, I was just in the car. I never wanted to enter the clinic, I never wanted to hear the doctor’s advice. I never wanted to hear Blackie’s painful moans. I was that weak when it comes to situations like this. But I wanted to, I really wanted to be with her in the process, I just can’t. 

I know it may sound absurd but I felt God's gentle presence. What if this happened next week when I’m gone? I mean, I’m the only one who can drive. What if it happened when it was all too late? Well, it might be late already...but at least we tried.

Hospital bills were ceiling high but, again, we did what we must. It’s some what a payback for Blackie’s loyalty.

Well, for now I am just hoping for the best. H O P E. Hold On, Pain Ends. For Blackie, pls be well already.